“What comes into our minds when we think about God
is the most important thing about us.”
A.W. Tozer (The Knowledge of the Holy)
My husband retired recently from a 32 year career in law enforcement.
There is so much to be thankful for in this season,
it really could have taken its toll on all of us,
but he came out of this type of career fairly unscathed.
Yes, there were so many scary moments for me,
but for him, it was always just part of the job.
I, on the other hand, left work two years ago when my first grandbaby was about to be born and have loved this “Mimi” life ever since. Because of this, I have already had the opportunity to be home by myself, making my own schedule, eating random things at random times and organizing cabinets that have never even seen the light of day.
Before his retirement, the only morning my husband and I were home together was Saturday morning. Sunday mornings we got up, got ready and made it to church, but those Saturday mornings I felt complete. I loved having him home. We walked the dogs, talked about our week, shared some stories, did some yard work and made some plans for the evening - simple stuff.
Busyness always seems to follow us around, though, in a self-inflicted sort of way. We love looking at our calendars and figuring out when we can mentor couples, when we can go on a date, when we can invite the kids and grandbabies over for a swim and when we can go on a little vacay. We really don’t like lag time and we don’t usually like relaxing or being lazy…except for my weekday mornings, the ones I used to spend alone.
My Monday through Friday mornings (on my quiet time couch) used to be filled with worship music, singing (not well, but..), bible or devotion readings, dog snuggling, journal writing and coffee - lots and lots of coffee. The introvert in me loved those mornings just like a band of pure gold, they were “precious” to me. Which alternately means that I protected and maybe idolized those a bit too much.
Last week, I got up and suprise, surprise - my husband was on my quiet time couch! There he was, with his coffee and bible in hand. That’s a good thing, I know. But, he was in MY spot! He was home and it was a Wednesday. Let’s talk about cramping my style. Now, I wasn’t going to be able to sing badly, read loudly or do any dog snuggling (he doesn’t really appreciate those pups in the morning). I proceeded to the kitchen where I brewed my first of many cups of the morning and walked to sit next to him on the couch. In my mind I was thinking that this could be pretty nice. I could get used to having him home. As the sun streamed through the window, all the warm and fuzzy feelings floated in the space between us. But, the beauty of the moment was broken with his next statement.
“You swallow loudly”, he said. “What?” I said as I sputtered my Pike Place. There’s just something about how a 31 year marriage speaks. Years ago, I may have taken that statement as an outright offense. Now, thank goodness, we’ve flown over the fears, doubts, criticisms that may have accompanied that phrase and breezed past any ill feelings into a total understanding of our solid love.
I love that we can do this now. Talk so openly, tease so easily and accept so abundantly. Please know that this doesn’t usually come with a marriage in year one, year five or even year ten of marriage. It takes a praise and an affirmation to be spoken over your spouse now and again. It takes work, trust and faith. Faith in God. What I think about God is His wisdom. His wisdom in leading Brian and I toward each other in high school. His wisdom in teaching us the lessons that have refined us over the years and have made us better. His wisdom in holding off on answering prayers that were never meant for us. And His wisdom for me to hold a place in my craft room for the perfect quiet time chair I found on Facebook Marketplace. :)
Yes, my own quiet time chair in my own room with a door that closes behind me. I once again am coffee-ing, reading, singing and writing. Wisdom lead me to recognizing that I cannot change things that are things. My coffee swallowing bugged the bejeebers out of my hubby and we both compromised. It is quiet in my craft room and it is a little slice of heaven if I do say so myself.
Be wise. Make changes. Cooperate and be well. Its all good.
Grace and peace, Linda
The Ups and Downs of Life...